Anxiety’s Disbelief

Is it fair to say that the “mind” of anxiety is different from the “mind” of a happy day?

That the things we think on, the things we notice, the things we find ourselves “stewing on” are different? Maybe even invading our moment-to-moment connection with the world around us?

Interestingly enough, in order for our thoughts to shape our feelings and life experience, we must cross over from just thinking about them to believing in them….

Sometimes I think this is one of the most damaging effects of the times we live in today -this “busy-ness”, and hustle, and haste. Passing thoughts and speculations are, in a sense, left to their own devices. To be formed and shaped and developed unattended by the flurry of events and experiences that bombard us everyday.

Under these circumstances it’s no surprise that just one of these thought “seeds” would take root like a weed, to grow at will, to feed at will on bits and pieces of our sense of self and safety, and security. In essence, it’s a thought that’s matured inside the mind without our consent -turned against us to threaten our sense of Self belief.

Simple, “harmless” passing thoughts …transformed into beliefs …so casual in passing …now deeply embedded within our heartbeats, our sweat glands. Anxiety has arrived.

Anxiety’s disbelief is a “disbelief” in Self. Anxiety says, “I don’t belive in you.”

Now I don’t know about everyone else, but that statement coming from anyone, let alone my own mind and heart, would genuinely piss me off.

It’s wrong. It’s just wrong. To experience the anguish of anxiety -regardless of what form it takes- as a result of a thought-turned-belief in my mind. A though that says to me, “I don’t belive in you.” It’s wrong …and maybe just a little bit cruel.

Now I don’t dare chalk this post up to a pithy “Believe in Yourself” admonition. The effects of anxiety can be debilitating, biting at the very heart of a person’s will and heart. But I’ve come to realize that if life presents me with something that’s “wrong enough” I can’t help but take a second look at how valid that something is.